well i ain't never seen such a big hard bastard cry like i did that day.

SORRY if you've missed me, I've been lazy recently and also I have been pretending to have a life.

I've noticed I only ever update this when I'm feeling sorry for myself so all you people must think I'm such a little loser.

Ooookay, let's see.
Since I last posted, I've had Christmas, my birthday, and lots of other vaguely stressful things going on.

But first, a bitch-fest, it's what you've all been waiting for ;)

Eugh, there's this girl, let's call her....Hayley. Now I never used to mind Hayley, she was friends with my best friend and it was cool.

Then she turned into a friend-stealing bitch, so now I hate her. I now how juvenile that sounds, but it's just, everything was fine before she came along, and she messed it all up and now I just feel like really bad. And she's a really ugly, dykey girl, and her face makes me want to vomit.

Also, she thinks everyone loves her, but all everyone ever does when she's around is bitch about her. And also, she has hairy nostrils, nuff said.

Anyway, my love life's still firmly down the toilet. On Tuesday, I will have been single for a year. That's fairly depressing. I'm sort of dating this guy but I think it's more a sex thing, which is fine. He's not really my type but he will do for now. And this guy I liked when I was 13 wants me, but I've already slept with two of his friends so I think he thinks I'm easy, haha, so I don't think I will go there. Advice?

Ooh, speak of the devil, loverboy's online on msn. Not sure whether to talk to him or not...

I don't know whether people actually read my blog but yeah, I have 4 followers, and I'm not sure where they came from? Cos I don't put this url anywhere or tell anyone about it :S

It's all good though, it'd be nice to get a bit more feedback from people anyway.

I never know what to say on here really, because my life's really not that interesting, it's all college and sex.

ahhhhh well :)

ignorance is your new best friend.

don't even like paramore buuuuuh, you know.

Yeah basically, that's the worst thing you could ever do to me or in my presence. Ignorance is not fun.

I swear, I am the most passive-aggressive person ever ever ever, and if you piss me off, I'll bitch about it and not do anything about it, or if you're my brother, I'll do little things to you to get on your nerves and never confront you.

By the way, I keep forgetting that a few people read this and end up ranting on about boring stuff, so I apologise.

Anywayyy, moving away from selfish little tossers, I currently have a vacancy for a new friend.

Guidelines are:

• must be moderately decent-looking, and if you're male, either gay or not interested in me. 
• not interested in relationships with anybody, as that is time-wasting and I will just get ditched constantly.
• available for me to bitch to/cry with/shop with/and gossip with AT ALL TIMES.
• at least vaguely intelligent, I'm pretty sick of talking to people who are barely above amoebas on the evolutionary scale. and if you had to look up amoeba on dictionary.com, don't even bother.
• you need to have at least a small bitchy side to you, and a decent sense of humour, because you'll need it.
• you have to understand that even if my jokes aren't funny, you should laugh anyway cos my feelings get hurt easily ;)
• you need to be able to put up with a little chubby redhead who tells bad jokes and gets angry easily.

I swear I'm not high-maintenance.

I might make up a poster and put it around college. And get pictures of people who have pissed me off at some point and put a massive cross through their faces so they know not to try again.
I reckon people would respond positively, I mean, at least I am honest.

Let me know if you reckon you're good enough ;)

OH AND ALSO

shout out to my first actual fan (:

how excited am i?

hello sophie

tell you what mate, she looks too cool to listen to my witterings, bad times.

her blog's pretty good if you like inspirational type writings and pictures of pretty girls.

update x2

I have eaten so much I think I am going to vomit. And my smoke alarm battery has gone so it keeps beeping.
Shut up smoke alarm.

So I decided to go along with the whole stalker boy thing, and I'm seeing him this weekend.
Just awkward as really, cos his sister used to be my friend and she's in one of my classes and I feel so weird around her like she's judging me for playing her brother.

But free meal + cinema, then we're going for a drink apparently. So it's all good.

It's my birthday soon, going from sweet sixteen to sexy seventeen. (just joking, imagine me like this and it's about the mark). I need plans for something to do, I have no money and I want to do something lots of my friends can do, so I can't go out drinking :(

I've been so boring recently, literally nothing is going on in my life.

So it's Christmas in 16 days or something. And I haven't started my christmas shopping yet. Well, I don't know where I'm going to get my money from, considering my parents are rich bastards and I don't get EMA or pocket money and I'm unemployed. So I might have to resort to prostitution, no jokes.

Oh god, since I wrote this, stalker boy has signed onto msn and started talking to me
"Why didn't you text me?"
"I forgot"
"Ohh, at least you're honest"
"lol"

Most normal people would have got the point by now, but no, not stalker boy. He carries on, relentless.

FML FML FML

Over and out (:


ps. sorry for the depressing shit, I promise I'll make next blog full of sunshine and rainbows and lots and lots of sex, drugs and rock n roll.

minor updates + ting.

Celibacy counters have been reset.

By lovely Daniel, who still has a girlfriend, FYI.

I also appear to have developed a stalker in a long-forgotten ex.
It's pretty scary, and I'm sure it is grounds for a restraining order.

College is getting really intense and pretty scary, which really doesn't fit in with the whole winter wonderland environment they're trying to get across.
3 dreaded words: JANUARY. MODULE. EXAMS.

Anyway, the main thing in my life right now is trying to keep the peace between everyone, just call me Mother Theresa. Nobody is getting along with anyone and it's driving me MENTAL.

Just random updates on nothing interesting, sorry. Just thought I would update, but it's revision time now!

):

STALKERS

Seriously not cool.

I spend most of my life complaining that I don't have a man, and the rest complaining about the men who want me.


things that have made me laugh out loud in the last half hour

auto complete me
MLIA

that's all.

Injections and celibacy.

So, the HPV vaccine really hurts.
And mine has to be the one which swells up giving me a deformed looking arm.
I always hear these horror stories about vaccinations right before I get one, and I reckon that the worry makes me tense up my arm. Because  I swear, it always goes wrong for me.

At least I'm not the loser who faints every time.

It's like, I want to give blood. But I don't even know what blood group I am, and I think I have anaemia. But I am literally dying (excuse the pun ;) unintentional clearly) to do it.
It's the only reason I'm looking forward to my 17th birthday, I don't even care about driving or that shit.
It's all gravy.

Anyway, moving on.
I have decided that I am going to remain celibate until I find a nice man. I think that I'll update my blog regularly to let the general public know about my failed attempts.
I mean, it's been so long (5 weeks), I have pretty much regrown my hymen anyway, so it should be a fun experiment.

I found this guy on Platform, known only as secret diary boy, and feel pretty cheated because now I feel a bit unoriginal, even though I've been writing this for nearly a year.
He's also a lot funnier than me, but other than that appears to be the exact mirror image of me.
Look him up, it's a decent read.

Alright, over and out, I want a sleep.